By Haddijatou
Misandry.
After 22 years of dictatorial rule, Gambians will go to the polls once again in April, but this time to elect members of the National Assembly. Almost a year ago, a child marriage ban was passed by members of the National Assembly which seemed like a step towards progress and a dream come true. I was fortunate enough to attend an intergenerational meeting between Gambian children and the Gambia National Assembly in the days leading up to the ban and that might have been one of the angriest days of my life to date. As Gambians continue to hold conversations on politics and recognize their rights as citizens of this nation, it is important that we know who we elect into office and what their stances are on issues we hold most dear to us. Make sure that the people you are electing are willing to work for and with women and children to ensure that their rights are protected and that their liberation continues. Below is a piece I wrote on the day of the intergenerational meeting that could add insight to the importance of voting for the right representatives.
June 16th marked the official launching of the AU End Child Marriage Campaign in The Gambia. Throughout the month there have been activities pertaining to ending child marriage, and one of them happened to be an intergenerational meeting between Gambian children and the Gambia National Assembly. I had [what I initially thought was] the pleasure of attending that event, but was disappointed, to say the least. The event opened well with a testimony from a brave girl who is a child marriage survivor, and an introduction of the children, but that is as good as it got. The first question a girl asked pertained to what the National Assembly has done in terms in ending child marriage. To no one’s surprise, the answer was nothing. It would’ve been okay to stop there, but instead, certain members of the Assembly saw it fit to place the onus on children. They resorted to making silly statements and asking frivolous questions such as what kind of assurances the children would give about not getting pregnant, whether they were worthy of their “help” and if they would actually stay in school. Instead of carrying a constructive dialogue where the children and their concerns where listened to, members of the Assembly veered off topic and turned the meeting into a lecture on family honor, social media and teenage pregnancy.
The hypocrisy of the Gambian man has risen exponentially in the past few years, especially since women have demanded to be heard. Instead of engaging constructively, listening more, and being better partners in general, they decide it is much simpler to laugh, to discount misfortunes, or better yet act like whatever girls and women are going through doesn’t exist at all. It is hilarious that when it comes to teenage pregnancies, or out of wedlock pregnancies in general, the only person at fault will always be the girl. The National Assembly cheered when one of its members brought up social media and the use of ‘android’ phones (which supposedly expose your life and reduce your self-respect), as tools of pregnancy.
One of them joked about wanting a young wife (causing giggles and overall childishness). One of them also found it necessary to speak about changing attitudes brought on by android phones and never really explained his point and its relevancy to not getting pregnant. In our society, it doesn’t matter that it takes two to copulate, or that in most of the stories we hear the perpetrator is a much older man, it is always the fault of the girl. The ‘honor’ of an entire lineage rests between the legs of a girl, while a boy will never lose sleep over his promiscuity. How are you okay with telling a child that it is her responsibility to keep her family honor? Have we gotten so negligent with protecting our children that we’ve now turned them into gatekeepers of a hardship they have no business enduring?
It is shallow and irresponsible to assume that girls get pregnant on their own without once critically analyzing the conditions which make these pregnancies possible; a few of them include a lack of comprehensive sex education, poor quality of education in general, and a systematic poverty that heavily burdens girls and women. But yes, it is definitely the android phones and Instagram that belittle, rape, humiliate, and deny the girl child her rights. It is important to note that the National Assembly member who mentioned the supposed destruction of girls through android phones was a woman. The only two women present at the National Assembly (her and the deputy speaker) highlighted exactly why representation without the proper knowledge is harmful.
As detrimental as the hypocrisy of men is, nothing is more corrosive than internalized misogyny, especially from women in positions of power.
The deputy speaker mentioned her disappointment in girls and their school performances, because contrary to actual data, she believes that boys now outperform girls in school because of pregnancies due to only, and only, the girl’s behavior. If we really care about girls, their education, and their pregnancies so much, then what are the mechanisms in place to ensure that the girls who want to return to school after having a child can return? Why do we find it necessary to shame young mothers and convince them to carry the most demanding stigmas in our society? Where is the education and support that is necessary to prevent these girls from getting pregnant in the first place? But most importantly, what are we doing to prevent men from impregnating girl children in school? Again, this was not the place for these discussions, especially one with such infant depth.
When the Nationally Assembly finally came back to the topic of early marriage, the deputy speaker thought it wise and relevant to mention that girl children CHOSE to get married so early and FORCE their parents to marry them off, ‘employing tactics’ to make sure they succeed. This was said in front of two girls who had given testimonies of their forced marriages, one of who was smuggled to her husband, and the other whose mother had threatened to disown her. In the case of the girl who was smuggled, a National Assembly Member somehow found it necessary to cross-examine her and ask for silly details in the story, basically looking for a contradiction and something to disprove.
He tried to cast blame on the Department of Social Welfare without trying to listen to the work the department had done in order to get the girl home, this included arresting her grandfather until she was brought back and also alerting international agencies on her being trafficked. How intellectually limited and distasteful must one be to make comments based on little knowledge while addressing real life people who just told you that that is not the case. Our lawmakers don’t listen, they don’t care for the people they’re serving, they don’t care for their stories or their wellbeing. In fact, they don’t even know their own law, one of them asked about what age bracket defined childhood (which highlights even more how clueless and incompetent our public servants are).
They find it much easier to place blame on others than to hold themselves accountable. One of the biggest issues I found most disheartening was the labeling of intra-familial rape and sexual abuse as a new phenomenon. The Director of Social Welfare mentioned two current cases of girls being impregnated by their grandfathers, and the most coherent statements National Assembly Members could make was that these events only started to occur now. Somehow, it is only the new generation of adults raping their children, and that before us no uncle ever touched their niece and no grandfather ever impregnated their grandchild. We continue to limit safe spaces for survivors and bury in them self-blame that will take generations to unlearn. We make statements that have no foundation that basically float on arrogance and belittlement.
We are failing ourselves, we our failing our children, and we are failing everything the forefathers and mothers of our beloved nation once fought for. We’re still living in a time where men can make ant-hilled decisions on the wellbeing of girls and women and have it lauded as progress. Reelection will continue to be more important to politicians than having meaningful careers changing the lives of the people they supposedly serve. The Director of Social Welfare mentioned a very important point, if politicians really cared about the constituents they serve; they would knock on each door during reelection campaigns and talk to them about important issues such as child marriage and ways to protect children within their communities. But no, because they don’t care, it is much easier to believe that the people they serve are just as unwilling to want better for themselves.
At the end of the event, the children and National Assembly Members then came together for a group photo to mark what would seemingly look like a successful dialogue in the eyes of anyone who hadn’t attended. Standing outside waiting for a ride home was perhaps when a colleague and I were really able to internalize the cluster of mishaps we had just witnessed. To see the National Assembly Members drive out in their nice cars, with their tinted windows rolled up, pockets filled with incentives to continue upon their mediocrity, and to hear their laughter coupled with an inflated sense of accomplishment, I can only hope that the children who were present at the dialogue become the kind of leaders we deserve, who do what needs to be done instead of finding loopholes to accountability while being rewarded for it.
