Hello ladies and gentlemen (members of the general public), the position is now VACANT again. There is a rat race going on for replacement of the previous guy. The job announcement is out and applicants have already started sending in their applications. But you must understand that the application process requires patient, the processing time may take weeks, months, and sometimes even years.

 There are 90% chances that all applicants will finally get hired eventually but the time frame depends on how much loyal they are to the chosen one and how many supporting documents they can contribute to the achieves of Daily Observer and the Standard News paper. I have few tips on how to help all interested applicants to expedite their application processes. Consider me as your job counselor.

  1. First of all you must realized that their are no paper forms to fill out for this job and there are no job interviews. You place your application through the department of “Patriotism”. You must visit this department and declare yourself a patriot and made it known at any cost. Sing it at every event, opportunity, and to any person who cares to listen. Only then will your name be short listed and considered a candidate.
  2. You must write a bunch of articles on social Medias, local media houses, preferably daily observer and the standard news paper insulting and name calling the opposition groups, especially the diaspora struggle. Highlighting few key names such as lawyer Daboe, Hallifa Sallah, Saihou Mballow/Mbenga, Pa Samba Jow, and Pa Nderry’s on your article will exponentially increase your chances. I guess you can also add F Camara name to that list now. Calling this names out in a derogatory manner holds huge points and will make your application process go faster. Never miss an opportunity to get broadcast on grts especially if your writing skills are weak. GRTS is your best friend during this critical times of the selection process. Seek them out and make sure they know you on first name basis. You want to be interview at every event you meet with them and get personal invitations to their studios to articulate on patriotism, love for country, and the greatness of our beneficial and merciful leadership.
  3. Engage in self aggrandizing, say all the wonderful awesome things you have sacrificed for your country and your willingness to do more without a single hesitation. Pretty much buttress on your point number one in local media houses and social media.
  4. Give yourself a phony name, like the patriot, the defender of Babilli, the Son of the Land, The Gambia’s Einstein, The Lit in Literature, the visionary of 2020…you got the point. You got to have an A-list name.
  5. And finally, but more importantly, you have to write all the great achievements of the July 22nd revolution. Remind the populace how we had no oxygen and HO2 before 1994, how The Gambia has advance from been a 4th world country to a 1st world country, how we are only a few successful projects away from being equivalent to the Heavens preach in holy books. And thank the “Mansa” who made it all possible.

With this few points my dear applicants, you will get the call accompany by hefty benefits come your way sooner than anticipate. Caution: So far, nobody who earned their jobs through this process lasted. But I will strongly encourage you all to go ahead and do it, it’s totally worth the risk. Besides you all are different from your predecessors. You are the true patriotic sons and daughters of our land. May God be with you all. Good luck.

Note: To the rest of the general public. If you found an article, post, blog, tv broadcast or any other form of publication from our hardworking credible employment seekers offensive, please go out and engage them in meaningless debates. This will give them a chance to defend their Godly leader in the face of His enemies, hence boost their chances of employment. Thank you for your cooperation.

#VacancyAtTheDepartmentOfPatriotism